Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
