I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
