I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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