We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
