I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
