Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
