i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
