I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
