I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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