In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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