She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
