i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
