Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
