If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
