C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
