I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
