Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
