You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
