watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We have started to decorate penises.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
