weddingsv make me drug and hornr
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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