South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
