he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
