Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I AM VODKA MAN
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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