Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
