he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
