when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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