it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
