Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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