oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
