My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
