Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
