So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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