I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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