my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
