I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he told me I talked like a deaf person
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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