We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
