Whod you bang
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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