my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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