My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize