There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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