he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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