Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
