i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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