My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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