The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
