I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
