well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize