That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
