You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Still dying that you shit outside
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
