Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
