i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
