I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The best revenge is premature balding
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
