New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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