Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
