Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
