Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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