When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize