I will die if light touches me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
