My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
