Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
