I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
