Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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