im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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