I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
last night I used snow as a chaser
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
