So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
