What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
