im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
