at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
