yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
