Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
