OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
